Militant, The Sell Out

February 22, 2010

Militant, I know that you have higher ratings than I, and that this leaves me in no position to criticize. However, I have watched as your blog became less and less militant. It started with an all black theme. Then, it switched to soothing shades of blue. Now it looks like…a website who’s end should not be .org, but .gov. *Gasp*

So in the interest of preserving your mode of defy-the-system protest, I am not going to change the URL for your site on my blogroll, thus forcing everyone who wants to view your cursed blog to click an extra time before reaching your site. This may not sound like much, but O! it will add up. Mwahaha!

For old time’s sake, I will link to your new blog here. But only for old time’s sake.

Militant, we will miss you.

Ron Paul (who is NOT a Libertarian) and the Conservatives

February 22, 2010

As I’m sure that you’ve all heard by now, Ron Paul won the Conservative Political Action Conference Straw Poll. If you’re wondering, yes, this is the same Ron Paul who pronounced that he wanted to eliminate the IRS, the Department of Education, the UN, and pretty much any other governmental or nongovernmental organization you can think of to a live audience on the Colbert Report last year.

Click to view the Colbert interview wiht Ron Paul

Click to see the interview with Colbert

At 4:20, Colbert asks Ron to put his hand down when he mentions an organization that he would not want to abolish. Ron’s hand stays up the entire time, though he lowers it slightly for UNICEF.

To me, like to Colbert, Ron Paul is something of an enigma. He isn’t your typical conservative, with his low value of safety and military spending. However, he is also not a libertarian, as he is very much a social conservative, no matter what he tries to call himself.

Whatever Ron Paul is, there is something he very clearly isn’t. He is not the GOP’s 2012 nomination for President.  Go ahead. I dare you to cry Straw Poll.

In fact, the CPAC Straw Poll is very rarely accurate. It is taken at a convention that only die hards attend, and at this, only the die hards of the die hards actually vote. This is because voting at the convention is completely optional. This year, only about 2,000 of the 10,ooo conservatives present chose to vote. At any rate, Ron Paul shouldn’t be getting his hopes up.

Another Fallback Option

February 21, 2010

In my last post, I found out that I have a fallback option if college falls through, namely becoming a ChaCha Guide. I have since realized that I have yet another fallback option! I think I would be a very successful hobo. Here I am, practicing.

The sign says: Why Lie? It's for Beer.

Your Mobile Bff

February 20, 2010

ChaCha claims to be a revolutionary service that will answer any question you ask, from what is cytoplasm? to how many calories are in a Budweiser? for free. The unmentioned caveat is that they also send you obnoxious targeted ads. The even less advertised caveat is that they are often WRONG.

This screen shot from the ChaCha archives shows someone asking the question, What song says all the boys want to touch my junk? and ChaCha replies “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas. The proper answer is “Tik Tok,” by Ke$ha.  Now whatever you think of the song, (it rhymes crunk with drunk) ChaCha definitely missed the mark, reminding us, once again, that there is no such thing as a free lunch.

So who are these infallible genii who answer questions? Well, they are Guides. ChaCha has very, very strict requirements to become a Guide.

ChaCha Guides must be 18+ years old, fluent in English, and have a U.S. mailing address.

Well, if I don’t get into college, at least I have a fall back option. 🙂

In defense of ChaCha, at least you get what’s advertised. I don’t know about you, but my Bff wouldn’t have answered this question right, either.